I find it hard to write as frequently as the thoughts are swirling through my head. Raising two children with very unique (and very different) needs is energy-consuming, even more than time. It’s important, though, to share our story. It’s important for people to hear the reality of our lives, the way that every day touches on joy as much as sadness. Too much of what is out there is focuses on what’s tough, what’s despairing, what’s challenging.
I also think it’s important to share the way that we approach things — flexibly, attachment-focused, avoiding control-based tactics, and open to grace. I have taught and supported children with disabilities for years, and no one has ever said that this is okay. No one has focused on the humanity and respect that can occur within these relationships. No one has said that validation can work with these children too. Even those who are attachment-focused with their typically developing children, they turn to reinforcement, punishment, and sticker charts with their children with disabilities. No one tells us that there are other ways. There are more ease-filled ways.
After a decade of training, I find myself slipping back into those old habits requested, and it exhausts me every time. It disconnects me from the joy and love of who my child is, right now, in this moment. It plugs me in to “should” and “ought”, which are places of pain and frustration.
And so I want to write, but I am not very good at doing so here. I am better on my tumblr. I don’t know how to get into the writing habit here. I don’t know how to differentiate what to share and what are my musings, or what I want this blog to be. I want to keep it going. Comments, suggestions, writing habit tips, all welcome.